Okay, so it's heleoplankton. Bee happy.

Fields of Gold

2011-11-20T13:32:00.001-08:00

After Spellbound was released, my father confessed to me that he felt uneasy when I was being filmed. Even though he believed in me, he feared I would become so anxious that it would jeopardize my performance at regionals. I think I loved the attention from the filmmakers like any kid would (don’t all kids go through an “I want to be a movie star” phase?) but I never stopped to think about the situation from my father’s point of view.

I remember riding the tractor in the wheatfields with my dad before I started kindergarten. I felt so important holding onto the steering wheel with my dad. I once told my sister that I would have fun riding a tractor nowadays while listening to my iPod. We both laughed, but I wasn't kidding. There is something quite therapeutic about gazing off into the vast Texas Panhandle.

Words

2011-11-20T12:51:00.001-08:00

Words are not just words.
They are not to be uttered without care.
Words are powerful vehicles.
They have the power to give life,
And the power to destroy.
Cruel words can end a friendship,
Loving words can mend a broken relationship,
Sometimes silence is better than words.
Sometimes words are better than silence.
Words can sting,
Words can stab, inflicting tremendous pain
Words said out of love can instantly heal a festering wound.

Jiggle Berry in Amarillo, Texas

2011-11-19T19:18:00.000-08:00

I LOVE smoothies. They are the best “fast food.”

While I was in Amarillo this weekend, I happened to drive by a smoothie establishment called Jiggle Berry. My first thought was, “What a cute name, but will the smoothies make my belly jiggle? Should I buy one or not?”

Look how happy I am waiting for my smoothie at Jiggle Berry!

I ended up buying a Blue Wave, which consisted of blueberry, coconut, vanilla, and coconut milk. I told the Jiggle Berry employee to sweeten my smoothie with Stevia, which I regret now. I think it gave my smoothie a bitter aftertaste. I also drank two ounces of wheatgrass. Even though wheatgrass is not at all pleasing to my palate, I have been drinking it ever since I read about green drinks in The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth.

Lately I have become a nutrition Nazi with my diabetic mother.

“Mom, you should NOT eat white noodles. Do you KNOW what they will do to your blood glucose levels? You should eat the wheat kind instead. Whole grains are better for blood sugar control.”

“HOW can you eat FRIED chicken? Grilled is better for you!”

“Are you drinking enough water?”

My mother will have to forgive me for my comments. Oh, Mom, have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? Did you eat a breakfast high in fiber and protein?

Nourishing food nourishes the spirit

2011-11-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

I used to eat junk food all the time until I realized how much it really affected me. Newton’s third law states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” For me, this equal and opposite reaction manifests itself as an unseemly muffin top and crankiness. Even though that sugar-laden Pop-Tart brought me momentary bliss in the morning, I knew I would suffer from an inevitable sugar crash. I realized that as much as I LOVED sweets, they did not love ME back.

For the past two years, I have strived to eat better. I have grown to love lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, and bell peppers. I enjoy my cup of green tea each morning. Snacking on fruit makes me feel better than snacking on Twinkies or chocolate bars. I rarely drink carbonated beverages and truly love drinking water with lemon.

I have a family history of diabetes, so I feel better just KNOWING that I am putting something nourishing in my body.

Breakfast is hands down my favorite meal of the day. Oatmeal is my absolute breakfast food (and I don’t mean instant). I prefer McCann’s Irish Oatmeal, but I am just as satisfied with a bowl of Quaker Oats. Kashi makes a cereal called Autumn Harvest, which I absolutely love and have eaten religiously for weeks now. I almost always eat yogurt for breakfast and the occasional whole wheat toast with peanut butter.

I tried eating Greek yogurt a few weeks ago but did not like the fact that it tasted like sour cream. I will keep searching for the perfect yogurt.

I still love junk food, and I do occasionally fall off the bandwagon. Just the other day I ordered pumpkin cheesecake from Olive Garden (oh come on – they only make it in the fall). Alas, dessert, all my love for you is unrequited!

"North" Texas

2011-10-31T06:23:00.001-07:00

This is the sign you see when you reach the Kansas state line.

This is the sign you see when you reach the Oklahoma state line.

And these are the signs you see when you reach the Texas state line.

More than one sign? What can I say? We Texans are proud of our state.

My friends in college looked at me incredulously when I told them that I had to drive to Kansas from my hometown in Texas to go to the nearest Wal-Mart.

"So you have to go through, like, three states?" one of them once asked me. Yes, except there's no "like" involved. I DO, in actuality, drive through three states.

And then my friends were really taken aback when I told them that I had to drive 120 miles to the nearest mall.

I used to smile when Dallas natives told me that they were from North Texas. My literal mind understood that the Panhandle was "north" Texas. Perryton is, after all, located on the northernmost point of the state.

I returned to my hometown to teach, so I am often asked if having to travel "so far" to Amarillo bothers me. I do live in the U.S. - we want everything instantly: fast food, music downloads on iTunes, information on Google. We want to be able to lose weight TODAY after a lifetime of eating whatever we want without exercising. I'm only human, so naturaly, I want to be able to make it to Barnes & Noble in ten minutes.

Instead of having a negative perception about having to drive two hours away, I have learned to look forward to my therapy on the road. While I listen to my favorite songs, I think about the steps that I need to take to reach my goals. I'm so thankful for music. I cannot imagine my life without it. Countless times I have pondered life-changing lyrics like: two birds on a wire - one wants to fly away and the other watches him close from that wire. Or perhaps Garth reminds me, once more, to sail my vessel until the river runs dry. Julieta Venegas sings, No se ve, pero siento que hay en mí algo que está cambiando. I have benefited greatly from my "long" drives from Perryton to Amarillo.

I have to, like, be happy wherever life takes me.

To my fellow consumerists

2011-10-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

“The best things in life aren’t things.”
I thought about this quote as I read it on my Nook.
I drove away from Barnes & Noble in my red 2011 Honda Fit
While I listened to music from my iPhone
And the iPod my brother bought me five Christmases ago.
Why do I have an iPod AND an iPhone
You ask.

I wear my A&M class ring every day,
I panicked when I lost it for a day,
I forgot that I was using it as a bookmark.

Even though I own a Nook, I still buy books.
My mother tells me I have too many books
That I should sell them in a garage sale
Or on eBay.
But I refuse to part with my books.
Nor have I the heart to sell my drum set

I’m typing this on my Sony Vaio laptop.
Should I get an iPad or not? I wonder
No, I don’t need one. Or do I?
I dream of one day buying a house,
This past summer I wanted to buy a kayak.

The best things in life aren’t things.
We will not take our things with us
When we die.
But I admit my life would be immensely different
Without my things.

Interrogative Words in the Spanish Classroom

2011-06-29T16:14:00.001-07:00

Spanish teachers, do you want to teach your students a catchy song to help them remember interrogative words? Buy "Hay Preguntas" on iTunes by Master A++.

Life is not a spelling bee

2010-12-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Life is not a spelling bee.
You will not be eliminated because you made one mistake
“I” instead of “e”
In a millisecond the sound of the bell
Signifies your fate
I’m thankful for second chances
And third chances
And fourth chances
The bell that really counts will ring in a millisecond
After I have breathed my last breath on earth.
Did I take advantage of the infinite chances allotted to me
To make things better?
To make things right?
To be happy?
To make a difference?
To love and be loved?
To see the beauty in everyday life?
To live passionately?
Life is not a spelling bee.
You are eliminated after making multiple mistakes.

Happy in the spelling bee

2010-05-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

Every May I fondly remember my National Spelling Bee days. I remember the countless hours I spent studying words. I remember my dad constantly reminding me to eat. I was so intently focused on my studies that it was easy to overlook such a basic need. There were times that my father advised me not to study so much because I was going to get burned out. My father was worried that I studied too much. What a thought! Shouldn't parents be worried that their children are not studying enough?

I experienced so much from competing in the National Spelling Bee two years in a row as a teenager: the first time I flew to D.C. was my first time to ride in an airplane, the first time I competed in the National Spelling Bee was the first time I felt a sense of belonging among my peers, and the first time I competed in the National Spelling Bee was the first time I traveled to the east coast. I remember being eye to eye with a shark at the National Aquarium in Baltimore and riding a paddle boat on the harbor. I also loved riding a ship for the first time in Annapolis, Maryland. In elementary school I had learned that Annapolis was the capital of Maryland - how surreal it was to actually go there.

I saw Arlington National Cemetery, Lincoln Monument, Jefferson Monument, Washington Monument, the Capitol building. I had my picture taken with Bob Dole and saw Bill Clinton give a speech at Arlington National Cemetery.

I was even fascinated that a speller from Ohio KNEW I was from Texas because of my usage of the word "y'all".

I am not ashamed that I come from a low-income background. Because of my dedication and intelligence, I was able to literally GO places. I was able to go to our nation's capital and capitol. I stayed in the Grand Hyatt, not in the Motel 8s my family and I did on our way to and from Mexico in the summers. I realized I was not forever destined to be poor.

Why did I spend so much time studying words? Spelling made me happy, and spelling allowed me many adventures. Following my passion was my ticket out of poverty.

As I have grown older, I have learned to appreciate those things that make me happy in life: writing, reading, listening to music, spending time with my family, traveling, teaching, running, and drinking tea.

As a woman in my twenties, I have still not stopped dreaming. I dream of being a best-selling published author. Over the years, my teachers encouraged me to cultivate my writing skills. Many of my teachers told me that I would be a famous writer and that I needed to send them copies of my books someday. I remember professors in college and graduate school singing my praises as well.

I might have misspelled "heleoplankton", but that is not what stands out most in my mind about competing in the National Spelling Bee.

Good-bye, Quaker Oats!

2010-03-07T07:45:00.000-08:00

This morning I ate a bowl of oatmeal from Jamba Juice. I have NEVER eaten a better bowl of oatmeal in my entire life. The oatmeal had a wonderful nutty taste. I googled 'Jamba Juice oatmeal' and discovered that it is supposed to be similar to John McCann's steel cut oatmeal, which I already bought instead of the usual Quaker Oats.

Yesterday was a beautiful day, so I went running at Memorial Park. I might go again this afternoon.

Enya's "Anywhere is"

2009-07-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

I often find myself mesmerized by the lyrics of a song. Take, for example, the following lyrics from "Anywhere is" by Enya:

The moon upon the ocean is swept around in motion,
but without ever knowing the reason for its flowing,
in motion on the ocean,
the moon still keeps on moving,
the waves still keep on waving,
and I still keep on going.

I dreamed a dream

2009-07-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

When I graduated with my bachelor's from A&M, I wanted my master's. Now that I have my master's, I want my PhD. My ambitions never end, I suppose. I'm putting the PhD plans on hold or a while. I was lucky enough to have had professors who encouraged me to cultivate my writing and teaching interests.

As I'm looking for a teaching job, I'm reminiscing about my teaching experience at the University of New Mexico. I absolutely loved it. There were times I felt discouraged in my graduate studies, but my love of teaching propelled me forward even when I didn't think I had it in me to read another book or write another paper. I knew that if I ever threw in the towel, I would have to give up teaching. I would have to give up my students. And I didn't want to do that. So I would dust myself off (really! Gotta love New Mexico haha!), drink some more coffee, and read that book for the master's comprehensive exam. Or write that paper about Mexican-American identity. Because I knew deep down that it would all lead to something great.

I am so thankful for the two years that I spent in Albuquerque. I grew so much from my time there, and I have no regrets. It feels wonderful being able to say that.

I sometimes wonder where I'll be in ten years, fifteen years, twenty years... Many things come to mind.

I dream about teaching at a DoDDS school in Spain or Germany.
I dream about owning a beach house somewhere on the Texas gulf coast.
I dream about being a professor.
I dream about writing books and becoming a best-selling author. Mrs. Coulter, my third grade teacher, always believed this would happen.

I dream about being happy in my career.
I dream about owning a ranch and horses.
I dream about finding someone who loves me for me and understands me.
I dream about having and raising a happy and healthy child.
I dream about being 100% comfortable in my own skin.

2009-07-12T15:56:00.001-07:00

Life is wonderful.

The ocean, just one of my many favorite things

2009-06-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

I recently went to the beach in Galveston with my family and remembered how much I loved the ocean. The way it tastes like saltine crackers and stings my eyes. The way the waves lap gently against the shore and how the sounds of the waves drown out all the thoughts floating in my head. Nothing matters at that moment in time except the present moment. I am there on the beach and nowhere else. Not stressing out about finding a job or if I'll ever get my PhD or if ....or if....this "if" evades me as long as I'm standing on the seashore.

The way the ocean stretches endlessly across the horizon reminds me that I am such a small creature, staring into a vast abyss that stretches endlessly, immeasurably.

There's something very liberating about the ocean. I feel at peace and uninhibited. I can do anything I want. Be anything I want. Go anywhere.

Let the job hunt begin!

2009-06-11T10:55:00.001-07:00

I graduated ....now what?