Friday, February 14, 2014

My formula for happiness is complicated

Life is a series of choices we make day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and second by second.

Sometimes I make choices that I know will result in negative consequences.  I wish I weren’t human.

Happiness used to be an elusive concept for me.  I didn’t understand how people could just choose to be happy.  For me, choosing to be happy entails my making a series of choices that contribute to my well-being.  Just being happy is still somewhat complicated, and when I’m tired, it’s easy to make poor choices that will guarantee me moments of agony.
Last night, for example, I ate a mountain of sugar knowing that while it would make me momentarily happy, it would also make me feel miserable the next day. 

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten two bowls of sugar-laden butter pecan ice cream last night covered with sugar-laden chocolate syrup from Braum’s.  I went to bed and awoke after two hours to find myself drenched in sweat.  I changed into different pajamas and went to bed.
This morning when I awoke, my whole body ached.  I have an endocrine disorder that requires me to be vigilant of what I eat and to exercise.  Doctor, if you ever read this, know that I don’t normally give into my cravings for unhealthy food.

My mother has diabetes, and I hope the same fate does not await me.  I want to at least be able to say that I tried to stave off diabetes by eating healthily and making good choices in my youth.
In order for me to feel all right,

I have to choose to drink tons of water.
I have to choose to listen to positive music and to positive messages (Ted talks, anyone?  Thanks, Jorge).

I have to choose to pray and read positive literature.
I have to choose to eat fruits, vegetables, whole-grain foods, etc.

I have to choose to limit my intake of ice cream, cake, brownies, and other sweets.

I have to choose to change my distorted thinking if I can identify it in the first place.

I once heard a health guru say that you have to have enough self-love to make good choices.

I have to choose to exercise, get exposure to sunlight, breathe deeply, let things go, get adequate amounts of sleep, alleviate stress in healthy ways, enjoy the everyday beauty around me, cultivate my relationships, and take my fish oil, probiotics, vitamins, and meds. 

Also, I have a tendency to over-analyze.  Sometimes I just have to tell my brain to stop analyzing.  Of course it usually doesn’t.

My favorite song by the Beatles is “Let it Be.”  What a good message when I can’t let things go.

So be happy?  Okay, I’ll try.  Let me just make the choices I have listed above.

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